Tag Archives: love

Creating Space for Love, Conclusion

In the summer of 2003, a journey began, creating space for love, initially without my awareness. Nine months later, on a beautiful Saturday in April, little did I suspect that I was about to give birth to my new life.

Tom was picking me up the evening of April 3rd to attend the birthday party my acupuncturist was having for her husband. It was an uneventful week, but when I woke up that Saturday morning, I felt very different! It was as if I was 16 again and had a special date to the prom! I was excited, anxious and nervous! I was excited for Tom to pick me up, I was excited to attend the party and I was most excited to have him and my older daughter meet! She had been asked to assist with kitchen duties, keeping food replenished, etc. I hadn’t introduced them prior to that, as I wasn’t planning on anything serious developing in Tom’s and my relationship.

FullMoonI don’t know if he noticed, but when I got into Tom’s car that evening, I felt giddy! I recall it was a gorgeous evening. As we were driving, I called his attention to the full moon that was coming up! Now, Tom is always aware of the moon and its stages. He told me it was not yet a full moon. “It looks full to me,” I said. He answered, “Well, it must be an Abrahamson full moon.” I loved that accommodation!

What a pleasure it was to observe Tom and my daughter meet for the first time upon our arrival. I stood back and watched the energy exchange. Warm in their greeting, Tom was ready to love Kira because she was my daughter; Kira wanting to make sure Tom was a good person for her mom. I felt like the teenage daughter introducing her date to her mother. It was an interesting and strange role reversal that transpired in the blink of an eye.

Shortly thereafter, I unexpectedly heard a whisper in my ear. “I love you,” it said. I froze and then experienced a bit of a panic attack. “Why are you saying that?” I asked. “Because it’s true,” I heard Tom’s voice respond. A flood of emotions rushed through me. Could I admit that I had also fallen in love with him? Could I trust the emotions, both his and mine?

I’m not sure how I got through the rest of the evening. I do know we had fun and I was very happy! I remember my daughter telling Tom as we left the party, “Take good care of my mom.” Who was the parent? It was a magical evening, if not a bit overwhelming!

 Everything was different from that evening on! We were in love! While I was ultimately able to connect with that emotion, I initially found myself very pragmatic. My concept of myself as a romantic was challenged! I know this was fear. I had been single for over 13 years and quite happy, I might reiterate, playing it safe! Now I was vulnerable. However, amazingly, in that vulnerability, I felt safe!

Over the next several months, we discussed his moving in with me. No small feat for, as you recall, I had filled every inch of my home. While I had cleared out a drawer and a section of my closet to create space for a partner, the reality of another person actually moving in was a bit mind-boggling, to say the least. But I began clearing in earnest and we made adjustments along the way. Before thatHouse01 transition, I communicated with my home about the energy shift to come with Tom joining the household. This is an important aspect of traditional Feng Shui thought: you treat your home as a separate entity and respect its energy and effect on your life. I could almost feel my home smiling in response and knew it was happy as well.

Tom and I were always in agreement about our commitment to one another and neither of us felt the need to get married. However, synchronicity was about to intervene again when, in May 2006, we traveled to China and Tibet on a Feng Shui-focused tour. And, it just so happened, three of my original four Feng Shui
GateGilrsLove Divas were a part of our group of 21 travelers. It started almost immediately. “Why don’t you and Tom get married on this trip?” At first we took it lightly, but as the tour progressed, the question continued to be lovingly asked. Everyone seemed to be conspiring to make it happen. After about a week of this persistence, Tom and I decided we should take the question seriously. After all, some of these same friends had encouraged me to set the intention back in 2003 to make room, emotionally and physically, for a life partner. Evidently, this journey wasn’t over!

Tom and I looked at each other one evening and, almost simultaneously, said, “Let’s do it!” My only request was that we marry in Tibet. I had traveled there previously and had fallen in love with the area and its people. Tom was definitely agreeable. The next day at lunch, we announced we were getting married in Tibet!

Mind you, we had no idea how this ceremony would take place, where it would take place or when! We had only four days in Tibet and every day was already planned out for us. But we set that intention and shared it with our fellow travelers. The excitement meter maxed out; the energy level was palpable!

PotolaSeveral days later, we entered Lhasa, Tibet. Located at the bottom of a small basin surrounded by the Himalaya Mountains, Lhasa has an elevation of over 14,000 feet and lies in the center of the Tibetan Plateau with the surrounding mountains rising to 18,000 feet. The air only contains 68% of the oxygen compared to sea level. It was impossible to determine the effects of thin air versus our over-the-top happiness?

Our intention was immediately shared with our Tibetan tour guide. He enthusiastically responded heTemple had been a Tibetan monk in the Jokhang Temple, the most sacred temple in Tibet. When his father died, Tibetan tradition required he return home to assist his mother and go to work to support the family. He left the monastery and became a tour guide. With his connection to the temple, our new friend could arrange for us to have our wedding ceremony in that sacred place!

Suddenly, our wedding was a reality and our fellow travelers excitedly took on the role of wedding party. Each had a job to do: finding a bottle of wine, buying wine cups, locating two long stem red roses, purchasing a wedding bowl for the rings, planning the wedding dinner! Tom and I shopped the market area to find something for me to wear. I purchased a beautiful brocade jacket from a vendor who took pride in being the one who sold me my wedding outfit. Our happiness and the excitement of our group’s energy were contagious. It seemed everyone there, tourist and vendor, knew about it!

Tom and I wrote our vows and Tom Hyder, an ordained minister, and his wife, Carole, one of my first Feng Shui teachers, wrote the wedding ceremony. On a beautiful afternoon, our wedding procession was led into an area of the Jokhang Temple where tourists were not allowed. Just prior to entering, each of us purchased a Tibetan Scarf called a ‘Khata’. It is usually made of white silk, symbolizing the pure heart of the giver. It is often given as a gift at special Tibetan ceremonies, such as weddings, funerals, births, and graduations.

 The Tibetan monks invited us to participate in a special blessing before escorting us to the beautiful Ceremonyceremonial room where our tour guide had arranged to have the monks chanting and drumming. During this 20-minute ceremony, our loving friends and colleagues came, one by one, to share well wishes and blessings as they each placed their Khata around our necks.

Following the chanting, Tom and I presented the monks with traditional red envelopes containing donations to the Temple. And then, with our friends standing as witnesses, Tom Hyder spoke of our spiritual union, blending East and West, ancient with modern. This amazing wedding ceremony, taking place over seven thousand miles from home and in one of the highest cities in the world, was stunningly rich with intention and love.

cake2Following our procession from the temple, a wedding feast awaited us at a traditional Tibetan restaurant. At its conclusion we were presented with a wedding cake – Tibetan style. While unsure how to decorate a wedding cake for westerners, they made it as festive and meaningful as possible with what they had. Our wonderful cake was decorated with frosting flowers, two cat figures, and a lotus candle that, when lighted, opened and spun around, playing “Happy Birthday.” It was perfect! And though Tibet is not a region not known for desserts, the cake was delicious!

Tom and I could not have dreamed of this day, let alone planned it! Our wedding was an inspiring example of the power of setting a pure and focused intention, then letting go of questioning how it might happen! From that moment on, the age-old process carried us along effortlessly as it evolved to culminate in our extraordinary wedding ceremony. This intentional journey was complete!

Monks

 “An intention synchronistically organizes its own fulfillment.” – Deepak Chopra

 

Creating Space for Love, Part 3

My Feng Shui Divas created space for love and I found myself newly energized! My home, which had nurtured and supported me as a single woman, was now supporting my intention to call in a partner. I had committed to the journey!

 “Every intention is a trigger for transformation.”  –Deepak Chopra

LuggageI continued to have regular weekly appointments with my acupuncturist and, of course, shared with her the intention that I set. In December she mentioned her husband worked with a wonderful man who was in the process of a divorce. Would I be interested in going out with him? Ah, my first test! An old tape immediately began playing in my head: “Don’t date anyone going through a divorce – too much baggage!” I told her, “No thank you!”

When I shared my conversation and response to my acupuncturist’s offer with my Feng Shui Love Divas, they advised me to reconsider, remain open, have fun and trust my instincts regarding whomever “shows up” in my life. I listened to their wise advice and, the following week, I told my acupuncturist I would be willing to go out with the man she had mentioned. “What is his name?” I asked. “Tom,” she replied. The Universe has a sense of humor!

DinningTom called me in January and invited me to dinner at a small French restaurant. He was courteous and the conversation was easy. After dinner, he asked if I would be interested in seeing where he worked. Tom’s workplace, a graphic design company, was a wonderfully creative space! The energy there was vibrant and he was filled with pride as he showed me around. I liked that Tom was enthusiastic about his job and the company. But later, when he asked if he could see me again, I told him I was very busy and wasn’t sure when I might be available. While I enjoyed our evening and found him to be a nice man, my conclusion at the end of our first date was there was absolutely no future with him!

 Mind you, I really was trying to be open to the opportunities for dating that came as a result of powerful intention setting, but I found myself more resistant than I had anticipated. However, over the next week, something interesting began happening. The more my friends asked me about him, and the more I denied any interest, a little voice inside began to speak louder and more clearly. It said, Pay attention! Don’t be so quick to dismiss this person in light of old, not well-defined ideas of who that ‘special’ someone might be.”

“Take a little time every day to notice the contents of your mind. This act of noticing, although very simple, is one of the most powerful steps to bringing about change. What you don’t see you cannot change.”  –Deepak Chopra

So several weeks later, I took the initiative and invited Tom to attend a class with me about the impact of color on energy. He eagerly accepted. Was it simply to go out on a date with me, or was it possible he was also open to alternative thinking? We went and I was pleased to notice he was as interested in the subject as I. It’s not that one’s partner needs to share the same interests, but, for me, it is essential that he be at least be supportive of my interests. And, of course, it works both ways.844

We continued to date casually over the next several months. I learned of his knowledge of wildflowers and birds and his expertise in Native American culture. While the old tapes in my head continued to tell me he was not “the one,” I noticed my body’s energy was relaxed and comfortable with him. In spite of my denial, I was gradually recognizing my delight when I was with him.

Then in April, we were invited to a birthday party my acupuncturist was having for her husband. Little did I know, when I awoke that morning of the party, my life was to be forever changed!

Creating Space for Love, Part 2

I could never have anticipated that events I experienced during the summer of 2003 were energetically creating space for love. Nor could I have imagined these series of happenings were conspiring to bring me to the auspicious day when I would meet my life partner.

The strange combination of symptoms I began experiencing that summer persisted. I had completed a variety of routine medical tests, the results of which, thankfully, came back negative. It was now August and my doctor had scheduled electromyography and a nerve conduction study in an ongoing attempt to identify a cause for the weakness in my arms and legs.

HandsPrior to that, however, I attended my professional workshop and coincidentally met the woman who was to become my acupuncturist. I called her the following week to make an appointment. My new acupuncturist’s credentials met my standards. She had L.Ac. – Licensed Acupuncturist – and M.A.O.M. – Masters of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine – behind her name. Another important aspect: my personality resonated with hers. As with any person caring for your body, mind and spirit, trust, confidence and rapport are essential!

The final “test” was to experience the energy of her office. It is so important to pay attention to the Waitenergy of a person’s office or treatment space. Any place you enter to do business must feel good. You want to walk in and feel welcome, comfortable and energized or relaxed, depending on the purpose of the visit. This applies whether it’s the office of your physician, massage therapist or tax accountant!

I was pleased her offices were well appointed, uncluttered and peaceful. And this is the BEST of all: My symptoms disappeared after that first appointment! I know! Whatever Chi was blocked was just waiting for the right treatment to “un-block” it.

I value Western medicine, having worked in a major hospital for over twenty years; however, there are times when Eastern medicine is appropriate. I believe our health benefits from a combination of both, and the knowledge to know when to utilize one or the other or both in combination. Though my symptoms disappeared, I continued regular acupuncture treatment with my new intention of maintaining general over-all good health and a feeling of well being. I happily cancelled the electromyography test!

During this time, of course, I continued to work on my answers to the BIG questions: Did I really want to create space, both physically and emotionally, for a partner and, if so, was I ready? I didn’t take this process lightly and when I finally gave my answer to my Feng Shui friends, the best I could come up with was, “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” That was good enough for them – they were ecstatic! While still a bit reluctant, once I said the words, I was committed to follow through and see where this journey led.

We scheduled a Feng Shui appointment (yes, we schedule these among ourselves just as we do for clients). Like everyone, we sometimes find ourselves too close to a situation. Likewise, familiarity with our own space occasionally clouds our ability to objectively assess the energy(s) that may be blocking progress. When this happens, we call in the troops – our Feng Shui colleagues. And there are no holds barred!

Our appointment was scheduled for an evening in October, 2003. They spent close to three hours going through my home, focusing particularly on my bedroom. They moved my bed to a new position, which required moving every other piece of furniture there! They made sure I had “pairs” of items in my bedroom, placed “special” items in the bagua of my bed between my mattress and box spring, created a lovely table setting for two in my small breakfast room, and much, much more. The most surprising finding, however, was their identifying over 80 female images in my home! If anyone had asked, I would have been surprised by the question and answered about a dozen. Talk about not seeing what is in your space!

PaintingWhen I divorced and moved into my town home, I was single for the first time in twenty years. I was feeling empowered as a single woman starting over. As I began to decorate my new home with art, I found myself drawn to images of single women. Of course, I wasn’t thinking, “There is a painting of single women I must have,” I simply resonated with the “art.” Oh, those blind spots we have! Leave it to the Feng Shui Divas to do their job!

Of course, Feng Shui is about creating harmony and one aspect of that is to bring balance to an environment. Here comes the critically important Yin Yang theory again: everything contains yin and yang, which are mutually exclusive yet interdependent and complementary. The goal is to maintain a balance between the two. That’s why we love a fire (yang) in winter (yin). It creates compatible balance. I had unwittingly created an imbalance with a predominance of Yin energy. Not to fear! My Feng Shui Team of Love Divas “balanced” every one of those 80 female images with male images. A powerful partnership of energies was created!

At that time, two of the women were dating men with the name “Tom.” Our Feng Shui teacher’s husband is Tom. In the course of the evening, I casually said, “I guess I need to call in a Tom!” None of us gave the comment a second thought.

 

To be continued. . .

Creating Space for Love

Temple01Eight years ago this month, Tom and I were married in the sacred Jokhang Temple in Lhasa, Tibet, surrounded by loving friends and colleagues. Little could I have imagined that a variety of events set in motion three years prior were creating space for love in my life that would culminate in this spontaneous and beautiful wedding ceremony.

My story began in the summer of 2003 when I suddenly began experiencing unusual physical symptoms. When laying down, my arms and legs felt like lead, requiring tremendous effort to get back up. Once up, I moved around easily and otherwise felt fine! When these strange symptoms persisted beyond a week, I made an appointment to see my doctor.

In the meantime, I happened to be having dinner with a close Feng Shui friend who posed a question to me out of the blue: “Don’t you think it’s time you call in a partner?” The question took me by surprise! I had been happily single for 13 years. I had a satisfying career, a Feng Shui practice I loved, a wonderful family and terrific group of friends. I was proud of my accomplishments and content with my life. I casually said I would think about it.

A month later, while having dinner with other mutual Feng Shui friends, I shared the question I had been asked. They thought it was a fabulous idea and were immediately excited about the prospect! This time I promised I would give it serious thought and let them know my answer at a later date.

“Calling in” is a Feng Shui term referring to the process of creating space for love. It uses the two-step Feng Shui process of setting an intention. The first step is making a thoughtful and clear decision about what you want to change or have happen in a certain area of your life. Inhand_shell02 this instance, the intention to be in a loving relationship. The second step involves using the energy of your environment to support that intention. A physical object that is meaningful to you (a special shell, wind chime, vase, crystal, and so on) is selected and designated to “hold” that intention on your behalf. It serves as a powerful energetic reminder for what you have set in motion. It represents another type of partnership – a partnership with your space.

It is easy to entertain a romantic notion of calling in a partner; however, serious consideration must be given to this potentially life-changing action which involves making room for one! To help, a series of questions must be answered:

Table01Am I willing to make the time necessary to devote to a relationship? How easily could I imagine a partner fitting into my community of friends and family? How comfortable would another person feel in my home? Am I willing to make room for that person in my closet, bathroom and kitchen? Is my bed big enough for two? Is there space at my breakfast room table to share a meal?

While these are practical questions, they are also emotional ones. Thus, if you can imagine yourself creating space physically for another person in your life, you will be able to create space for them emotionally as well.

While I was busy asking myself these questions to gain clarity on the subject of partnership, I continued to go through tests for my ongoing physical symptoms. Thankfully, the results were coming in negative for a variety of possible ailments, but the symptoms persisted.

I decided to see an acupuncturist. I had been to an excellent one several years before and was aware of several other well-qualified acupuncturists. The strange thing was, however, I knew I didn’t wish to go to any of them. I had no good reason, just an inner voice telling me, “No, not that one.” I was learning to listen to that seemingly irrational voice. So I waited while continuing to participate in the variety of tests my primary physician offered.

It was now late summer and I needed to register for a continuing education workshop in my field of Speech Language Pathology. When I learned I had to give up a precious Saturday to attend, I felt resentful. However, while reading the workshop choices, I came across one entitled Acupuncture and Stroke. I was excited and intrigued. My resentment dissolved and I eagerly signed up!

Walking into the workshop, I saw a lovely woman standing in the front of the room. She was the presenter. After introducing myself I immediately knew I had found the acupuncturist I had been waiting for.

To be continued. . .